My hands are sweaty, my heart is racing and my breathing hard!
The tones have just gone off! What kind of call am I going to have this time?
UN1! Not again!
I’m trembling inside, hoping we don’t arrive first as I don’t want to be the one in charge!
It’s a 3 month old male, not breathing and unresponsive!
Oh Lord, I can’t handle this! The anxiety washing over me is almost unbearable.
We aren’t successful and after the call, I’m in tears!
I feel like I am falling apart on the inside yet I have a chart to write and more calls to run, all while pretending I’m perfectly okay.
How can I go on?
I’m in denial! It’s nothing I can’t handle! I really don’t need to talk to anyone about this!
I’ve done my job for years and can keep doing it just fine, I continually tell myself!
Every day I go to work, I feel the anxiety washing over me!
Sometimes I feel almost paralyzed.
I’m a paramedic and I’ve seen things no one should have to see!
I’ve comforted too many grieving people!
I haven’t been able to save everyone and even when I get them to the hospital before they die, it’s sometimes not enough!
What do you do when you have these feelings?
Do you ever feel hopeless? Whatever your situation, there is help, I promise you!
As I share my story in these blogs, I hope you can find the same thing I have, peace! Hang in there friend! You aren’t alone!